"Dear Nerva"

This typo was founded in my "comments" by me, and it was sent by a dear friend, Izzy McFizzy. I quitely hope that this letter, and the response that it produces by via of me, shall be of help and assistance.

Dearest erva,

I must humbubly ask your advice on a most serious matter. It may be a life or death situation for my poor carpet. My feline cat Kootsy has become kwite lonley. He loves ripping out the carpet mostly on the upperstory of my house. do you have any suggestions on how to stop this behavior? I don't know if it has any thing to do with his lonelyousness or if it mearly an out put of self expresion.

Insanely,

Izzy mcfizzy 

Well, quite clearly this is problem! Obviousitrocity, Kootsy is desirous of having the area that he has chosen as his home without carpet. This is called by those of my professionality as "excessive home-remodelation disorder." I suggest the following stepstools for you to follow after:

1. Re-organdize the upperstory of your lovely home into a more homely atmospheric, suchlike that the cat Kootsy might be more persuadable to not rip the carpet. 

2. If the behavioral continuities, remove all such carpet and otherwise from the upperstory. 

3. If this solutable does not work, then very carefully sit down with Kootsy and talk with him, so that he may understand your feelings. Your conversation might go something like this:

You: Kootsy, I understand that you might be slightly lonely in your solitude. Is this correct?

Kootsy: MROOW [at this point in the conversation, you should begin to take notes, to better understand his feelings and to be able to study further at a later notice) 

You: Kootsy, I understand. I feel greatly for you. Is there anything I can do for you?

Kootsy: purrpurr

You: Oh, Kootsy, I'm so sorry. 

Kootsy: mew?

You: Kootsy, of course. I will do anything for you. 

Kootsy: meooow

You: Oh goodness, Kootsy, I had no idea! Of course I will, immediately! 

Kootsy: (scratching)

You: Darling Kootsy, I am so sorry that you have had to go through this. I will do everything within my possibilities to make your life better. 

Kootsy: (walks away)

You: Oh, Kootsykitty, I am so glad that we have had this opportune to get to know each other better!

At this point, you may wish to review your notes of the conversation, and, quite immediately, begin to do as he has said. 

Hopefully this has been of helpfulness to both Izzy, Kootsy, and my faithfulsome readers!