"Dear Nerva"

This following missile was given to me by via of electro-mail, again from my friend Libbee.

Dear Nerva,
It has come to my notice that my other cat, Pyia, has been having some issues with socializationing.  As I am only a psychologist and sociologist for rats, and there are some problemish things that I cannot fix!  Please help Pyia -- she never comes out of her bedroom (the catroom cabinet, other times foolishly known as the bathroom cabinet) and has an immortal terror towards the general public of people.  I would like her to be more friendly and outgoing, as I believe many of my dear rats love her because of her beautiful face and hope one day to relationship her.  However, this will never happen if she continues to have these fears.  Please help as soon as possible, this is getting to be urgently serious.
Much love,
Libbee Tribleea and the Rat Gang 

This is, indeed, a most troublifying issue. I would suggest using the following method, namely, that you do as I instruct you forthwith to do. 

The cat, Pyia (as always, the name of the feline animal in query has been changed to prevent any misconstruety), is, as has been stated, shy of the rat population. This is likely caused by the event of a draumatic experience in the cat's childhood, which led onward for the cat to become an individual in adulthood who still was being terrored by the rodent population. 

The best solvalution would be for the cat to be slowly un-frightened of the vermin types, namely by exposing the cat to these creatures slowly. My favorite method is to place one rat into the cat's in-closure each day, to allow the cat and the rat to become friendly and enjoy each others' compatrionism. 

If the rat does not reappear, that is likely because the cat and rat have become such good friends that the cat does not want to relinquish friendship on her new play-mate. 

 

This feline cat is enjoying the compatrionship of her new rat friend.

Once you have given the cat many oppurnitunities to meet the rats, it is accessible to continue adding rats to the cat's home at a rate of one per hour. You may wish to encrease addition at a faster pace, at perhaps one per fifteen minutes and more. Eventuality, the cat will come out of hiding, ready to become best friends with the rats that she has been enjoying. 

I hope that this has been full of help, to Libbee and others.  

Betty Crocker

If any of my readers are personally knowing of Betty Crocker, I would greatly depreciate any attempts on their part to try to connect me with her. I have been trying for many years to come into contact with her; unfortunately, I have been unable to reach her personally.

I have a recipe for mushroom fruitcake that I am sure that she would love to have in her cookbook; sadly, most of her cookbooks are disappointmently lacking in such recipes. I hope to rightify this mistake.

I would also like her audiograph.

"Dear Nerva"

I have come to the decision to begin a weekly series of web-log postings that will address some of the issues facing today's cats. My faithful readers may leave me questions about:

1. Cats
2. Fruitcakes
3. Lawnmowers

If you place your query in the "comments" section of the blog, which can be reached by clicking the "comments" button beneath each blog post, I will do my humble best to answer each issue to the best of my facilities.

To begin, I would like to address a problem that a dear friend brought to my attention a few weeks ago. My friend, Libbee Tribbleea, has a cat named Lyra (to protect to privacy and dignity of each cat, all names have been changed). This cat is a tad on the weighty side; Libbee was rightfully concerned with the reason for it. To her inquisitions I offered up the following wisdom.

If a cat is weighty, it is because that cat is feeling un-confident of where the next food-source will emanate fromwithall. Therefollowing, you should make sure that the cat is given plenty amounts of food, and I would suggest setting full bags of cat food in every room. If your cat has a more tender digestive system, you should consider making the cat an omelet. Most cats are partial to broccoli-cheddar-mushroom-barley. You should place food on every surface and in every container; the cat will then see that it should not be worried about the plenticality of edible materials. I find that it is best to continue this extensive feeding ritual for six to eight months.

Before 

  

After

I hope that this has been useful to those of my readers with similar conditions!

A Role Model For Us All

I recently came across this cat-lover, whom I greatly respect and admire for her devotion to the catly species. She is clearly very attached to her feline companions, and I only wish that there were more of her to give the cats of the world the attention and love that they so obviously deserve. I am confidante that she will find a soulmate who, like herself, greatly adores all cats. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTTwcCVajAc

Back Again

Hello, all my faithful perusers! I know that you will not begrieve me my time away from this web-log; I was engaging in respiratory habits, in an effort to become fresh and rejuveniled. Now, however, I am back to write in this virtual area, to keep you well-informed on all of my daily activities and enjoyments.