"Dear Nerva"

I have come to the decision to begin a weekly series of web-log postings that will address some of the issues facing today's cats. My faithful readers may leave me questions about:

1. Cats
2. Fruitcakes
3. Lawnmowers

If you place your query in the "comments" section of the blog, which can be reached by clicking the "comments" button beneath each blog post, I will do my humble best to answer each issue to the best of my facilities.

To begin, I would like to address a problem that a dear friend brought to my attention a few weeks ago. My friend, Libbee Tribbleea, has a cat named Lyra (to protect to privacy and dignity of each cat, all names have been changed). This cat is a tad on the weighty side; Libbee was rightfully concerned with the reason for it. To her inquisitions I offered up the following wisdom.

If a cat is weighty, it is because that cat is feeling un-confident of where the next food-source will emanate fromwithall. Therefollowing, you should make sure that the cat is given plenty amounts of food, and I would suggest setting full bags of cat food in every room. If your cat has a more tender digestive system, you should consider making the cat an omelet. Most cats are partial to broccoli-cheddar-mushroom-barley. You should place food on every surface and in every container; the cat will then see that it should not be worried about the plenticality of edible materials. I find that it is best to continue this extensive feeding ritual for six to eight months.

Before 

  

After

I hope that this has been useful to those of my readers with similar conditions!