It has come to my attentiveness that that thing with which you control whereupon you click upon the computer screen is called a "Mouse." This is disturbing for several reasons, which I will elegantly elaborate on below.
Firstly, for any feline users of the computer, it is quite offensive to be using a food item to navigation the vast boards of the internwebs! For instantatious, how would you feel to be handed a fruitcake and told to use it to maneuver through the on-line Wide Wiggly Web?
Lastly, it is quite difficult to use a mouse on the computer! It is very squirmy, and difficult to make it do anything like you would like it to do.
And finally, they are quite difficult to upkeep! I have gone through about sixteen mice within the last five days or suchwise, and my cats continue to eat them! I find this entirely irresponsible, and it must stop soonwise. I am becoming quite overrun with cats and mice and I have had quite enough.
Dear readers (and suchlike else as you might prefer to be known), I feel that this is a trend that must end. Please, we can together end the horror that is beginning to creep upon us.
Thank you.
Most Sinful Celery,
Minerva Giderva the IIIrd
Keeper of Cats, Baker of Fruitcake, and Lawnmower Extraordinaire
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